Uncovering the details
I was recently talking with a woman whose daughter had given her a blank journal, asking her to write about her life. "I'm happy to do it," she said. "But what does she want to know?"
The more I hear this question, the less it surprises me. We often feel that it's only the "big events" in our lives that are worth recounting. But it's the everyday details of "life back then" that are most intriguing to the next generation.
A six-year-old boy may want to know what games or sports his grandfather played. Whereas, a teenage girl may be curious about the music her grandmother enjoyed, or what she remembers about her "dating days." Personally, I became very interested in my grandmother's motherhood experience in my early thirties, when I had children of my own.
Digging below the surface
Most adult children and grandchildren whom I meet want to hear about the happenings in their parent or grandparent's life, but they also want to know how those life events affected and shaped them.
How did it feel to have your first child while Granddad was away at war? What did you love about painting when you were a teenager, and why did you give it up?
We know that our loved one's story is worth hearing. But we don't always give much thought to what it is we want to know. Before you ask your parent or grandmother to start sharing, you'll want to take some time to consider what blanks you'd like to be filled.
Finding the questions
A helpful (albeit, emotional) exercise is to fast-forward 10, 15 , or 20 years when your loved one is no longer a phone call away. What do you think you might want to know about his or her life? Imagine being able to step back in time and talk with that person. What are the answers that you might seek?
With just a few simple questions, you have the opportunity to create that time machine today. You'll thank yourself later.
I was recently talking with a woman whose daughter had given her a blank journal, asking her to write about her life. "I'm happy to do it," she said. "But what does she want to know?"
The more I hear this question, the less it surprises me. We often feel that it's only the "big events" in our lives that are worth recounting. But it's the everyday details of "life back then" that are most intriguing to the next generation.
A six-year-old boy may want to know what games or sports his grandfather played. Whereas, a teenage girl may be curious about the music her grandmother enjoyed, or what she remembers about her "dating days." Personally, I became very interested in my grandmother's motherhood experience in my early thirties, when I had children of my own.
Digging below the surface
Most adult children and grandchildren whom I meet want to hear about the happenings in their parent or grandparent's life, but they also want to know how those life events affected and shaped them.
How did it feel to have your first child while Granddad was away at war? What did you love about painting when you were a teenager, and why did you give it up?
We know that our loved one's story is worth hearing. But we don't always give much thought to what it is we want to know. Before you ask your parent or grandmother to start sharing, you'll want to take some time to consider what blanks you'd like to be filled.
Finding the questions
A helpful (albeit, emotional) exercise is to fast-forward 10, 15 , or 20 years when your loved one is no longer a phone call away. What do you think you might want to know about his or her life? Imagine being able to step back in time and talk with that person. What are the answers that you might seek?
With just a few simple questions, you have the opportunity to create that time machine today. You'll thank yourself later.
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